My Life in Words |
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4/13/2017 0 Comments Be your own Easter EggWith the Easter weekend upon us, I am reminded of a yoga class that I participated in a few years ago. We began the class in child's pose. We stayed in child's pose for what seemed like an eternity, listening to the teacher describe Easter eggs. How each egg is unique and how we make the effort to paint eggs all different colours, naming all the possible colours that we may paint them. She then proceeded to inquire as to why we can't all just be our own colour. Why is it that we feel the need to paint ourselves as something other than what we are? As this lengthy, preachy dialogue continued, I found myself getting a little irritated. For one, we were in child's pose way too long. Secondly, I did not appreciate being advised as to how to live my life, especially given the fact this teacher did not know me. She therefore did not know that I've never painted myself any other colour than the one I am. I have always thought and acted independently. Sometimes that has been a good thing and has served me well, other times it has not. Either way, I have always been true to myself. I'm not usually one to concern myself whether or not people agree with me or even like me. My thought is that if I am true to myself, that genuine sincerity will shine through and attract the people who are best suited for me, to me. I think that yoga teachers need to be careful in the way they speak to a group class. I understand that teachers just want to inspire, guide, and help people become their best self, however, without knowing each individual, it is not appropriate to generalize or assume how people are thinking or living. Everyone is on their mat for their own reasons which will become apparent to each person as they move through their practice. As you can see from the picture below, I have lived on my own terms for a long time. This is one of my all time favourite pictures of myself. I am about seven years old at my First Communion. Typically girls are to wear a white gown and veil, much like a wedding dress, to their First Communion. I was adamant that I was not going to wear such attire as I was not getting married and I refused to dress as if I were. I often reflect back on that picture and am sometimes surprised at my unwillingness to conform. It never once struck me that I would be different from everyone else. I guess I just didn't care if I was. I would be amiss if I didn't mention that my parents obviously played some sort of role in how I think and act with authenticity, for they allowed me to dress the way I wanted to at this First Communion. For a long time I thought it was all me. "Look how I am my own person, thinking for myself, acting in my own best interests", but really, my parents played a huge role. They bought me that blue dress and I know they were proud of me, their own brightly blue coloured Easter egg.
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4/6/2017 16 Comments THE "C" WORD The C word. It’s one of the worst words I can think of. It is an unpleasant, terrible, dreadful word, and I’m sure most people would agree. It’s a word that people are sometimes afraid to use. It’s a word that some think should not be spoken in mixed company. A vile word that some find off-putting, maybe even offensive. One that should never be discussed, especially with the person it affects. The mere mention of it sends chills up your spine and makes you cringe. Cancer.
Cancer is such a insidious, horrible disease. I’ve always been empathic to people battling this disease and to people who have lost loved ones to it. The thing about cancer is that it is so random. No-one is immune. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to who will get a diagnosis; children, adults, healthy, unhealthy, fit, thin, overweight, even babies. It really doesn’t seem to matter, somehow it will make its way into your life. I never really thought it would get so close to me though. I have friends and family who have battled cancer, some have won the fight, and some have not. The worst thing I ever thought that I may get would be some form of skin cancer due to my excessive sun tanning in my younger years as well as my genetic make up. A mole that would just simply be removed and I would carry on without concern. What I did not expect to receive was a diagnosis of the most dangerous form of skin cancer there is, melanoma. There are apparently three types of skin cancer, melanoma being the worst. The good news it that although this is the most dangerous form of skin cancer, it is also the most curable, if caught early. If caught early. What exactly does that mean? What is early? Is it when it first comes, but is unnoticed? Is it when you first discover it? Or is it when it starts to itch or bleed? Is it when it is diagnosed? I don’t know if Ihave caught this early or not cause I don’t know what early means. So now I’m another statistic. Although I guess we are all just a statistic for one group or another. The unknown is difficult to deal with at times. Waiting for surgery, waiting for a more definitive diagnosis, certainly plays on the mind. The thoughts often lead to the worst case scenario even when the facts lead the opposite direction. So keep me in your thoughts and prayers, or not. In the end, it’s not anyone else’s actions or thoughts that will matter anyway, it’s mine. Ultimately my actions, my karma and my past lives will dictate how this plays out. I really hope I was a good person in my past life! I know I’m trying in this one! I’m hoping that this will not become too serious an issue and that in a couple of months all will be fine. One of the good things is that I’m now a candidate for regular screenings so that if something should arise in the future I know it will be caught "early", thereby increasing the chances of beating this invasive, intrusive beast. I'm very "early" in the game. I really don't even know how serious this is. It may be very minor and probably is. But it's the mention of the "C" word that is upsetting at first and leaves me wondering if the headache I have is just the barometer pressure or something more. Am I tired because I'm battling something, or because of simple lack of sleep? Does my foot hurt cause the disease has already progressed or just that I've put in some extra mileage? Until I have the first surgery, I won't have answers to any of those questions. In the meantime, I will teach, practice, run, walk, bike, and continue to do all things I do because really, there’s nothing elseI can do. 3/3/2017 0 Comments UnforgivenI do not even know where to begin. It's been several days since I watched a horrible video that I cannot seem to get out of my mind. I've prayed, meditated, thought nice thoughts, but the images just keep reappearing.
I admit I am not the perfect yogi and have never professed to be. And here's an example of why. It's not the fact that I cannot get into every pose perfectly, or that my language is not what is always should be, or that I cannot recite the Yoga Sutras, or that I don't have a perfect diet, or whatever else it may be that one thinks of when they think of a yogi. It's that fact that I have resistance to forgiveness, something I am definitely working on but still have a long way to go, just like in my physical practice. I have a very low tolerance for liars, thieves, and most especially, child and animal abusers. It is extremely difficult for me to find it in myself to forgive these behaviours. I have come a long way however, because there was a time where I couldn't even forgive the most minor slight against me. I get it if someone is having a bad day, or does something by complete accident, or has good intentions with a poor outcome. Forgivable. What is not forgivable are actions that harm the most vulnerable, children and animals. What has prompted me to write this post is a video I recently viewed on Facebook. One that was on Ricky Gervais' (comedian/animal activist) page. It was in regards to toughening the punishments for animal abusers, in this particular case, those involved in dog fighting. I seriously regret hitting that play button. I wish so much that I hadn't. The images are horrific and are stuck in my mind. I've cried a few times after seeing what these poor, innocent dogs endure. I will not go into detail about the video as I do not wish to upset anyone the way I have been upset, now for days. One of the things that perplexes me is why the video was even posted. I thought there might be some follow up as to what happened to the poor dogs, or more importantly what happened to the assholes in the video, but there was nothing, which just left me wondering and thinking even more about it. I found it irresponsible to post such a video without a warning or any follow up. A child could have just as easily hit that play button. It served only to upset the people who love animals or perpetrate the behaviour of those who don't. To me, pointless. Dog fighting is one of most cruel things one can subject a dog to. Domesticated dogs do not want to fight. They want to play, love and be loved. Those who own and coax (I would never use the word train for this because it's not) dogs to fight must be punished. Severely. Those betting on fights or watching them must be punished also. Severely. People that have any type of association to this barbaric, disgusting spectacle have a complete lack of empathy and compassion and any sort of decency. There is something missing in their make up that makes them think this is okay. It's not. It is not okay to take a trusting, vulnerable, loving creature that depends on it's owner to keep them out of harms way and care for them, and throw them into a scary, painful, dangerous situation. Six months jail time, 5 years, being prohibited from owning animals for a certain amount of time, are not punishment enough. These, for lack of a better word, people, need lengthy sentences and a lot of counselling. People get more time for simple marajuana possession than they do for these terrible crimes. Absurd. These words I've written don't even begin to describe the way I feel. There really are no words to describe it. That video really disheartened me and makes me wonder if there is more good or evil in this world. Sometimes it's hard for me to know. So if you have an exceptional story of kindness, one that equals the magnitude of this story of atrocity, to offset despair, please share. And I'm not talking about buying a cup of coffee for someone, or holding a door, or any of the common courtesies that are done on a daily basis. I want to hear extraordinary stories. I think it's a good time for all to hear some exceptional stories of kindness. Not sure if this qualifies as a post or a rant but either way, I felt the need to write. Now go hug your dog, cat, fish, kid, spouse, friend, tree, anything. 2/11/2017 0 Comments Coldest Night of The YearBeing a teenager / young adult is hard. I can't even imagine how hard these days. Today's teenagers have all the same challenges that were had when I was a teenager. Peer pressure, fitting in, self esteem, stress over school, bullying, and the list goes on and on. Add ever-changing technology, social media, limitless information (some of which is not great), concern for their future (especially with career choices and the pressure to do extremely well in school given the current job market), and it creates a whole new world of challenge. These days a Grade 12 education is not nearly enough to land a fulfilling job in most cases. Post secondary is a must and is costly; just another stress. Not to mention what may be going on in their home life. All of this amounts to some very trying times.
Everyone experiences difficulty in life. Even Buddha is quoted as saying, "life is suffering". No one has a perfect life, is trouble or worry free, regardless of how they may appear. All of this and that's even with a roof over your head. Now imagine all the obstacles that teenagers have and then incorporate homelessness. Take a look outside into the snowy, cold weather and imagine trying to figure out where you're going to sleep tonight. Even worse last Tuesday night, with the relentless rain, ice, and frigid temperatures. I'm not sure, to be honest, how to make things better for some, but maybe little steps towards a bigger goal will help. On Saturday, February 25, 2017 thousands will walk in different cities and towns across Canada, in what is dubbed The Coldest Night of the Year. This walk is to raise money and awareness for various charities across the country. I'm walking 5 kilometres to raise money and awareness for The Refuge, which truly is a refuge for homeless youth and youth in need. I've been to The Refuge on several occasions regarding the Durham 1/4 Marathon, previous Coldest Night of the Year walks, and to deliver donations over Christmas. Every single time I have been there, I have seen their work in action, literally! Lots, and I mean, lots, of activity. Interaction between the youth and each other, the youth and young children that may be there, youth and the staff. Games, meals, some horseplay too. It's always been a friendly and active place when I have visited, and many of the youth there, in spite of whatever situation they may have going on, have been laughing, smiling and have been engaged. Yesterday when I arrived to pick up some information and my toque for this year's walk, the atmosphere was no different. When I arrived one of the guests was shovelling the snow and gave me a friendly nod as I walked in. As I was leaving two others had taken over the shovelling and asked me about the toque I was carrying and wanted to know more about the walk. We spoke for a few moments and I was on my way. The people who access The Refuge are no different than I was when I was a kid or even my own kids. Only their circumstances are different. Anything can happen at anytime for a situation to change, good or bad. This walk generates a sense of community with a common purpose. Last year when we walked, it was kind of cool to see a sea of people all wearing the same toques, walking for the same reason; letting people know that the youth who access The Refuge are cared about. Please consider walking with me on February 25, 2017 at 7pm. We have a team called Saltydogs. Take a moment to register for the walk (preferably with the Saltydog Team); follow the link https://canada.cnoy.org/search?q=saltydogs. Not available to walk that night? Donations to the team for The Refuge are graciously welcome. Together we can give a little bit of hope where there might not be any otherwise. 1/11/2017 0 Comments ResolutionsYesterday was a windy, snowy, slushy day. Denis and I decided later in the day to go for a run and take the dog with us. At the time of our run, precipitation turned from a light snow to rain and people were just coming home from work. We were trudging along in slush about 2-3 inches deep. Our dog loved it, happily prancing along in what is her favourite conditions! I loved it too! I would have to say my best runs are usually in the worst weather and yesterday was no different.
While we were out so were others shovelling and snow-blowing. I always feel such a sense of community when everyone is outside busying themselves, whether is shovelling, fixing a car, playing with their kids, doing anything. As we passed one guy shovelling, he shouted out to us "nice weather for a run!". I responded with "it's too wet to shovel so we chose the easier task of running." He then said "it's good to see that a little wet weather won't stop you from sticking to your New Year's Resolutions. Have fun!" I love when people, complete strangers, are friendly and are not afraid to say hi or start a conversation and thought it was kind of cute. I also loved that he said have fun. Many times running can be a task for me; it's hard work! But not for the dog. She's just out having fun and that's really the way I should view it too. As we continued running, I joked with Denis that if the guy had noticed our Boston Marathon jackets, he would have known that our run was more than just a New Year's Resolution. It's a lifestyle. Our running, yoga, physcial activity, and healthy eating are lasting endeavours. Although there are ebbs and flows, we remain pretty consistant. There may be times where we don't run for a while and then start again. Sometimes we don't practice yoga as much as we should, but we always return to it. We don't always eat perfectly clean but for the most part we try to. Often times a New Year's Resolution is the start to a commitment to a healthy lifestyle, and that's great as long as it remains a lifetime commitment. It's not just reaching a goal and then reverting back to old habits. It's being consistant, always. 1/4/2017 7 Comments Small Business
On a cold, windy, rainy, day, while out for a walk, my daughter called me to say that her car had been involved in an accident. Of course the first question I asked was if she was ok and thankfully she was. Her parked car had been hit by another car that was backing out of a driveway.
She had driven from Peterborough to Oshawa, about 70K, to babysit her friend's children. When she arrived she parked on the street in front of her friend's house and went inside to pick the kids up to take them out for lunch. When she went back outside a woman approached her and asked if the car parked out front was hers. Raichel responded that it was her car, and the woman then replied that her friend had just backed up into it! The extent of the damage was enough that the car was not drivable. When Raichel's friend came home, he helped Raichel with the necessry steps that have to be taken when such an event occurs. He drove her car to the body shop and then drove her home. Once Raichel was home we contacted the insurance company and car rental agency. Raichel was scheduled to work in Peterborough that same evening, however, without a car there really wasn't a way for her to return to Peterborough in time for her shift. (Sidenote; insurance will not cover lost wages, but we learned that the insurance would cover the cost of a taxi back to Peterborough!) Live and learn. It seemed what was a regular, somewhat relaxed day, turned into a hectic, stressed one. At the same time the day turned out to be perfect. This is why; while we were waiting for a return phone call from the insurance company, we went to Micheal's Craft Store. We both bought some yarn and I bought a few other things for myself. Raichel re-taught me how to cast on so I could start knitting my scarf. We stayed up late watching a movie together. When I woke up this morning, I was happy to know she was in our home. We ate lunch together and she was on her way back to Peterborough in the 2017 Ford Fusion rental, a bit of a change, even somewhat of a luxury, from her 2012 Ford Fusion. Her car will be fixed at no cost to her and her rental vehicle paid for. Even the fact that the person who hit Raichel's car came forward, when it may have been just as easy for her not to, was a reminder to me that people can be upstanding and honest. For the cost of a little stress, for a short period of time, the gifts received was worth it. Quality time with my daughter. So does everything really happen for a reason? I'm starting to believe so. Perhaps the timing of this accident prevented Raichel from driving with the kids and getting into a serious accident. Even with more tragic events such as death, there is often so much confusion and so many unanswered questions that there seems that there cannot possibly be a reason for such a thing to happen. For me, with my limited experience with death (thankfully), I figure that maybe a death prevented something worse from happening. A long, painful battle with cancer for instance. Or a terrible accident. Who knows what the grand scheme is. Although we sometimes can't figure out why things happen, as life unfolds, things somehow do fall into place, if we let them, and answers may be found. If we can find a way to turn unpleasant, stressful, sad events into something positive, we can receive the gifts that may emerge. It may not happen immediately. Depending on the event, it may take minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months or years. But at some point maybe we can look back and say "I get it. I understand. It all makes sense." I would have to say I'm thankful for yesterday. Honest people, helpful people, kind people, understanding people all made themselves shown. Eating, knitting, watching a movie, hanging out with my daughter was a great way to spend time. And none of it would have happened had someone not backed into Raichel's car. 12/9/2016 0 Comments Relaxation and Calm?Recently I had the opportunity to teach some calming and relaxation techniques to three groups of children, kindergarten to grade 7, and their parents. Many of these children could definitley benefit from calming and relaxation techniques, as they are dealing with many issues. Some have ADD, ADHD, learning disabilities, stress in their home life, addicted parents, absent parents, and so on. Their parents also could benefit, as we all can, from some simple exercises. I'm sure many of the parents who were there also struggle with some of the same issues that their children do and I must applaud their decision for coming out to this evening of information and learning.
12/8/2016 2 Comments Find me Here!It's been almost two years since I left my full time employment with the City of Toronto to pursue a different type of life. A life that does not include two hours of commuting on a highway that has an accident pretty much every single day. A life that does not include a job where most of the management is stressed out and does not provide a supportive workplace. A life that does not include a standard routine of 9~5 and a regular pay cheque, and does not include time away from my home and my family, the two things that are most important to me. Although I miss the public I served and some of the people I worked with, and the regular and fairly decent income, I am enjoying this new chapter of my life which does have its flaws, but what life doesn't?
The last two years have been spent trying to settle into this new existence; trying to figure out how to move forward, teach yoga on a full time basis (which actually turns out to be a part time job), trying to keep keep our house in order, adapting to days that are not filled with many social interactions, building a business and writing a blog, which brings me to this point. I have been sporatic with my blog posts, sometimes writing on a very regular basis and then dropping off for weeks, even months at at time. My hope is with this new website, where everything is contained in one area, my posts will be a little more regular. So find me here. I will most likely write about a number of varied and random things, Some you may find the posts here interesting, some of you may not, but I have always liked writing as well as conversation, debate, opinions, insights, and thought provoking discussions. This is where you will find me; my thoughts, experiences and opinions. 11/24/2016 0 Comments Beautiful DogToday was a beautiful, hot, sunny day. A perfect day to go for a walk with my twenty-two year old daughter, Raichel, and our dog, Layla.
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AuthorMy name is Karen. I'm a mother of two kids, ages 21 and almost 23. I have an amazing, supportive partner, Denis. I have a energictic dog and two cats. After the death of one of my very best friends, the father of my kids, I left my full time, government job of twenty-six years to devote my energy and time to teaching yoga. I am a runner and have done several marathons, half marathons, and a few triathlons. Denis and I have completed several self supported bike tours ranging in distance from 300km to 1200km. I have created Saltydog Yoga and co-created Cookies By George Made by Raichel. I have good days and bad. I struggle with my body image but most days try not to as life is really too short. I am a firm believer in being honest, true to yourself, and doing your own thing. I am not one to conform. I have always lived my life that way (see picture below; i'm in the blue dress). It has mostly served me well but sometimes it has not. It is my hope that my experiences may resonate with others, my blog may create some discussion, and that all of us can live a happier, healthier life of fulfullment and contentment. Archives
April 2017
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